This is an odd way to start a post for me, but I think its time to put a few "practical" things out there. I hope the other posts make it clear that our greatest desire is to make this blog reflect our real lives. Therefore, the main thing I write about is our Christian faith. Jesus Christ is at the center of everything we are. This miraculous story of 7, and now 6, baby girls in my womb is about Christ, not doctor appointments, belly measurements, lifestyle, or our daily routine. Consequently, each post has a heading that is more than just "___ week update". But, there is a time and a place for everything, and today I feel the Lord nudging me to "practicalize" this post a bit. God and Christ and faith dictate the practical lives of believers, so my prayer is that they dominate the tone today as well.
There are a lot of people looking at the blog these days. Our story has spread pretty rapidly. At first, this irked us, mainly because we were afraid of the media finding out or of critics voicing their opinions. Now, we have none of these feelings. May God's glory be shown to whomever He desires. Our lives are not out own and this story is not about us.
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant. My uterus is the size of a 28 week pregnancy. All 6 girls are strong. Each sac has the proper amount of fluid. All 6 placentas looks great. My blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate etc are spectacular. My cervix is still 4 cm long and strong. The doctors are becoming optimistic. If I can get to 24 weeks (October 14) without going into true labor, the babies have a chance to survive. After 24 weeks, the doctors will do whatever we allow to keep the babies from arriving too soon. At that point, if I get there, I will start to receive steroid shots to mature the girls' lungs. Before 24 weeks, the doctors cannot ethically postpone true labor for lives that are not viable. If I get to 28 weeks (one day after my 30th birthday, November 11), wow. If I get to 32 weeks (December 9), which has been our prayer from the beginning, ummm, there are no words.
The hospital has been notified of our situation and are beginning to prepare. Like I said before, the news is spreading. Steve is much more in the "spotlight" than me. He has a pretty public position in Charlotte as a former Carolina Panther, current flywheel instructor (and the one who opened the studio), SmartCore co-lead trainer, and our business' main man who reaches people of all ages all over the county. I get out still, but my priorities are taking care of Steve, our girls, our home, our business' infrastructure, and oh yeah ... the 7 of "us" :).
My daily routine still consists of waking up at 5:45-6:15 AM to spend time with our Messiah and exercise. Before I do anything, I roll out of bed, hit my knees, and read the next Psalm as a prayer. Our study Bible stays open on my little night stand and I usually have to use my phone light to read it in the morning because it still dark outside. There is no better way to start the day than to pray the very words of God Himself.
Then, I hit the bricks. I swim for about 75 minutes 2 days a week, bike for about 50 minutes (Flywheel style) 2 days a week, strength train for about 60 minutes 2 days a week, and do yoga for about 60 minutes 1-2 days a week. During each exercise session I listen to the next Romans sermon by John Piper in my fortuitous series study, pray, and worship Jesus through song (my favorite lately is Shane and Shane's latest 6 Worship Initiative albums).
Breakfast time! We love eating outdoors on the cool mornings as we look onto the farm behind our home.
Play date with dear friends. Blessed to have such a great community.
I am eating a lot more now that my nausea is almost gone and have gained about 8 pounds. The summer has been fabulous because I get to spend all day with my girls - we go to the pool or the park every morning, come home for lunch, rest/nap, and head out in the 'hood for afternoon walks and playtime with neighbors. On some nights and mornings I have clients come to the house to train. We make dinner and clean up ("we" only when Steve is home that night) and then head up for baths and bed. Steve and I spend about and hour on the couch catching up both on our days and our favorite shows via Apple TV (HardKnox, SportsCenter, and Restaurant StartUp). We are in bed by 10PM.
Nana came to visit and so generously treated us to our FAVORITE meal at Sushi Guru! Feast!
There is the movie. Here is the grind.
Early mornings are becoming increasingly difficult to maintain. I pee about 10 times a night and constantly have to move to my left side to get pressure off my back and stomach amidst my mountain of 5 pillows that help me stay somewhat upright to avoid inevitable heartburn. I am hungry constantly but can't fit too much in at one time, which is hard because I am a big meal-eater. Because I am more tired and hungry, I am less patient with my sweet girls and nothing-but-servant husband. By mid-afternoon, my ankles are puffy along with other "parts" (you hear me ladies). Each whine and moan from my 4 and 2 year old sound like screams and goodness forbid my husband ever have a hard day or complain! Sitting is my least favorite position because the babies stab at my ribs.
My flesh worries about my routine - if I am doing "too much"- because that is the opinion of others. I have no control over when these babies will come, and I want to do everything I can to stop it from happening too soon, but I can't. I field many questions and inquiries about my due date and when I will be put on bed rest and why I look thinner all over except my belly ... all from people who don't know the whole story or who don't really know "me". I don't know how long I will be able to do all that I am doing, and I have no control over that either. I am afraid of the day when I cannot move, and even through I pray for that day, becoming depressed is a real reality for me. I fail time and time again by putting me in the center of "my" world and not God. I know better, but I fail and fail and fail time and time again (Paul puts what I am trying to say best in Romans 7:13-25).
There is the grind. Here is the truth.
GOD IS SOVEREIGN.
My election, my calling, my salvation, my sanctification, my faith, my past and present and future, my strengths and accomplishments, my weaknesses and failures, my blessings and thorns, this very breath I take now ... are nothing but a product of GOD'S SOVEREIGN GRACE.
God hardens and God elects. We are NOT self-determining creatures. God determines everything from the number of wrinkles on our palms to our life stories to the entire history of this universe from predestination and creation to the coming of the Messiah and His crucifixion to His second coming.
I have said it before and I will say it again. God does not promise us 6 healthy girls to be born on December 9th. We ask, we plead, we cry for it, but He owes us NOTHING. We owe Him EVERYTHING.
This world exists for God. This world does not exist for me.
If you don't believe me, I challenge you to read the greatest piece of literature ever created, the very words of God Himself ... the Bible.
If we want to know God deeply and personally, we have to take him on his own terms. We can't dictate to God how he should be known or how he should reveal himself. We can't say, "Give me a dream!" Or, "Give me a list!" Or, "Give me human authority!" God will say, "I have given you the Bible. Go there and get to know me. Don't tell me how to make myself known. I will tell you how you can know me. Go to your Bible and get to know me."
-John Piper
So, we dive in. In this house, we dive in our Bible every morning, noon, and night to find the only true answers to the deepest longings of our souls.
Jesus, please have mercy on us. Please forgive me for my wandering heart, for my weak flesh, for trusting in anything but You to satisfy my soul. Oh God please show us mercy and glorify Yourself through bringing these 6 girls to earth alive and healthy. But even if you don't (Daniel 3:18) Father, may our testimony be true and strong, and may you be even more glorified than if you don't complete this miracle. You are good and holy and just and mighty and ... sovereign.
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
Psalm 9:1-2
