All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, “What have you done?”
Daniel 4:35
The past two weeks have been a blur. There have been many tears, much laughter, and an overwhelming amount of love and support. Yet, in the eye of the hurricane, God … this incredible God … continues to whisper to our hearts and minds. He is so present and has given us abundantly more than we could ask for or imagine in such a new, sorrowful, and yet glorious time.
I share those whispers now.
In some small and imperfect ways, the story of messiah justice (not capitalized intentionally), from beginning to end, reflects the most important and perfect story ever created, namely, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Gospel is not understood by many. Unfortunately the Christian Church has done a poor job in keeping it at the center of “operation” and therefore, most church goers don’t even know what the Gospel is, much less do those who don't attend. I am not sure I really "got" the Gospel until this year, thanks to Mission Community Church, Matt Chandler, John Piper, the book of Romans, and the book "The Gospel Centered Life".
The whole purpose of my life, of Steve’s life, and of redemptive history is to illuminate the Gospel…to illuminate the Cross (hence the invitation picture, thank you Weslie Woodley)…to illuminate Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
The aim of all human life in God’s eyes is that Christ is made to look as valuable as He is. We are made to worship Him. Worship means using our minds and hearts and bodies to express the worth of God and all he is for us in Jesus.
The Gospel, in a sentence, is found in 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10:
For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.
The Gospel, in a sentence, is described by Pastor John Piper as:
"The good news that Jesus Christ the Righteous One died for our sins, rose again, eternally triumphant over all of his enemies, so that there is now NO condemnation for those who believe but everlasting joy."
Tim Keller's simple words about the Gospel are strong and powerful:
"The Gospel says that you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope."
The Gospel is NOT the way to get saved to then get strong by doing something else. No. We are strengthened by the Gospel every day until the day we drop.
We MUST preach the Gospel to ourselves every day lest we perish in self-aggrandizement.
On January 12 2014, I wrote:
“The girl knows God now... not like she knew Him as she knew a jar of honey by its label ... but like she knows a jar of honey by its taste. The girl understands that her fire has earned her nothing. The girl understands now that God gave her the fire. The girl understands grace. The girl understands the cross. The girl understands the GOSPEL."
On May 18 2014, I wrote:
"I do know, however, that God is holy, good, jealous, just, faithful, merciful, gracious, loving, and wise. In Him, and Him alone, I place my hope."
On May 30, 2014, I wrote:
"After 19 years of walking with Jesus, I am not impressed with Lindsey Justice, in the least. Less today, than ever. My sense of being able to commend myself to God, in that moment, is more terrifying to me today than ever ... apart from Jesus. Today, I know a little more about: the wickedness of my sin; the subtlety of my pride; the deceitfulness of my heart; the quickness of my critical tongue. I will never, ever be good enough."
Today, on September 6 2014, I repeat those words from my mind and heart with even MORE confidence and conviction than I did then.
The most incredible thing about this journey is that I can look back on each day and apply every scripture verse, every prayer of my heart, and every gleam of knowledge and apply it to NOW. Nothing has changed about God from our battle with infertility to us becoming the parents of seven deceased children.
God is the same, He never changes. He is faithful and His word is true. He sustains us in the good and bad. To this, we now have a strong testimony.
The specific story of messiah was so perfectly planned, from every small detail to the full picture. We can’t even see the whole masterpiece yet, but every day we behold something new that He has done and is doing through the story.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:3
Psalm 40:3
The new Messiah Roll, made in honor of the true Messiah at Sushi Guru! It is absolutely delicious and made from all of our favorite things :)
Our story has much pain, suffering, and sorrow, as does (incomparably less than) the greatest moment of human history, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
It was at the cross, the wonderful cross, that it was “finished". Because of the cross, sinful humans can enter into a relationship with a very holy, just, and righteous God. It is because of the cross that we may have life eternal and abundant ... that which we do not deserve.
I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10
John 10:10
It was at the cross where the Glory of God shone the brightest.
Now, I must share what I saw that day … September 23 … in the operating room while I delivered 6 perfect, beautiful, healthy baby girls whose destiny was to die. Many people have asked if it was terrible. My answer is a clear and resounding "no". I could not fully articulate why until the Lord made it clear to me some days after the birth.
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As they wheel me down the bright lit hallway, I see the clouds. Until now, I have been afraid of what I would do if we lost the girls. But now, I have no fear. The clouds are great and the thunder roars, but I am not afraid. More and more peace comes over me as we near delivery. I clutch my bible to my chest. The only verse I want to read over and over is Psalm 27:4, a verse that I meditated on some days before:
One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may
dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the
beauty of the LORD...
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It was in that operating room that we experienced the greatest pain and sorrow we have ever experienced. But it was in that operating room that we beheld and embraced the glory of God like never before.
More brokenness, more suffering, more laying down of self ... more glory, more glory, more glory.
The earthly death of Mercy, Evie, Shiloh, Sage, Issac, Aspen, and Honor Justice is good. It is good because of so many reasons.
It is good because it has given our family a very deep and tangible understanding of the Gospel: how painful it was for God to give His perfect one and only Son, how sufficient Christ is in our weakness, how Sovereign and good God’s will is for each of our lives, and how much better is the path of pain for the sake of knowing and sharing the love of Jesus Christ.
The death of our children is good because it gives all who know and read their story an accurate picture of TRUE joy and hope that is found only through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Lasting fulfillment is found in Christ Jesus alone, who suffered, died, and rose to defeat death and sin forever. Everyone suffers. Everyone hurts. This is a HARD world ... it is not the one that God originally intended it to be. This is why messiah's story resonates with so many people. Everyone is going through something. A “happy ending” may not look like we want it to, but I tell you now, with so much confidence, that the ending of this story is more than “happy".
Steve summed it up perfectly in one sentence when he said:
"The valley is so much sweeter than the mountaintop ... when He is with you."
Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
Ecclesiastes 7:3
Ecclesiastes 7:3
We are made for His glory. We have no excuse to settle for anything less:
For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.
Romans 1:19-20
This is why we go to the beach to see sunsets, to the mountains to see sunrises, to great concerts and sporting events, have sex, and love our children. These, plus all things good are small glimpses of the great Shekinah glory of God.
But only the one true God … His Glory … satisfies us forever. It is when we give Him worship in response (thus fulfilling the Great Commandment) and reflect His glory to others (thus fulfilling the Great Commission), that we find life! It is only then that we are truly satisfied!
A huge difference between the story of messiah justice and the Messiah, Jesus Christ, is that God GAVE His Son. Jesus laid down His life. No one took it from Him. Jesus was the most powerful, wise, and strong man to ever live. He could have killed them all. But He washed their feet instead.
God TOOK His 7 children that He loaned to us for a short time.
God GAVE His perfect, holy, spotless Son for me ... a wretch whose mind and heart “bent” is toward self. Oh, how I love Him. Oh, how I NEED Him!
Now, more than ever, by the grace of God alone, I agree in mind and heart with Paul when he says:
I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith — that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3: 9-11
Philippians 3: 9-11
Finally …
If you see anything admirable; if you see anything worthy; if you see any strength, hope, faith, love, honor, and/or glory in us, please, don’t see us. We are nothing. We are fallen, selfish, prideful people who, if left on our own, deserve nothing but wrath and eternal punishment.
It is only because of the Gospel that we live, may approach God, and are able to imperfectly display His great, majestic, good, holy, and awesome GLORY.
May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.
May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.
May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.
May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.
May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.
May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.
May the Mind of Christ, My Savior
Kate Wilkenson
