How do you work out your faith in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12) while fully believing that he is ABLE to do far more than you can ask or imagine (Ephesians 4:20)?
How do you rest in Gods sovereign will (Romans 9:15) and trust that His ultimate intention for you, if you are His sheep, is goodness and mercy (Psalm 23:6)?
How do you pray with complete confidence (James 1:6) and not know what He will do (Romans 11:33)?
These questions have become very real to us in the past week. They are great mysteries that bring us to our knees.
Yet we moan and cry and fight for the lives of these babies. We desire so badly that they survive. I am their mama. I feel them kick and move and hiccup all day and night long. I will die for them. I cry as I write this in such desperation.
I am so afraid of messing up. I am so afraid of doing something that will put me into labor too soon. I'm so afraid that if they don't make it, it will be all my fault.
He whispers: Are you the author of life? Are you in control of this?
The LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.
Genesis 2:7
The LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.
Ruth 4:13
Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.
Psalm 115:3
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9
The thought of the girls surviving is too wonderful. How could we ever receive such a blessing? We are so unworthy.
He whispers: Who are you to determine whom God may choose to receive blessing? Who are you to question the actions of God? Think of EVERYONE I chose in the Bible (from Abraham to Peter); were they worthy? Only I am WORTHY.
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
1 Corinthians 1:27-29
But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.
Exodus 9:16
Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?
Romans 9:21
So many people expect them to make it. So many people speak as if they are already here. How can I let them down? How can God be seen as glorious to them if the girls do not survive?
He whispers. You insult me when you seek the approval of men. Who are you to decide how I will be seen as most glorious?
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.
John 12:43
Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
Psalm 46:10
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
I fear the failure of my physical body. I fear that my cervix will be shorter each week. I fear the contractions I am now having. I fear that when my womb gets to the same size as it was with Hannah (38 weeks) and Hope (37 weeks), it won't hold the girls any longer (I am currently measuring at 35 weeks for a singleton).
God whispers. Am I not greater than the length of your cervix or the size of your uterus? Are your doctors more wise than me?
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.
Isaiah 40:28
With Him are wisdom and might; To Him belong counsel and understanding.
Job 12:13
Jesus reminds me. He wrestled too.
He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
Mark 14:36
These 6 girls are HIS children. These perfect babies are HIS daughters.
Whether He calls them home today, next week, or in 80 years, He knows and does BEST.
We didn't ASK for this miracle. We didn't plan for this to happen. This has been entirely out of our hands from the beginning. None of this CAN be coincidence. The statistics are too unfathomable. Even the most intelligent atheist would have a hard time defending the "natural" causes of all the big and little parts of this story.
What were we to do?
Reduce? Never.
Dissolve in anxiety? We can't.
Trust the one true God of the Bible? Yes.
Approach this God with fear and trembling? Hallelujah. Only because He sees Jesus when He sees us. Otherwise, we would be doomed.
Grace. Mercy. Love.
This is NOT the way of the world.
This IS the way of truth. The way of salvation, justification, sanctification, glorification.
This is the way of the Gospel, on which we stand, imperfect, fallen, but REDEEMED by the blood of the lamb.
Father please put what is in our heads into our hearts CONSISTENTLY and FOREVER. Please make our knowledge our experience.
I believe, Jesus. Please help my unbelief!
Mark 9:24
