I want to share the words the Lord gave me to speak at messiah's celebration of life service. Imperfect as they are, getting to share my heart has brought me much peace and joy.
As Lindsey progressed in her pregnancy, I had to pick up some slack. Some of those chores included putting things from bottom of the refrigerator to the top and picking things constantly off of the floor so that Lindsey would not have to bend over; cooking mass amounts of chicken and Asian sweet potatoes for my very hungry wife; making homemade slushis because she couldn't bring herself to drink one with HFCS in it (oh, Linds ... you get this if you know her!); weekly (not inexpensive) Sushi Guru trips (I had to pick up a 4th job for this!); endless homemade (all from scratch) cookies; daily foot and rib massages (thanks Sage, for hanging out under her right rib like a champ); a very awkward Craigslist search for a walker on big wheels (which I was going to pimp out matte black style and put rims on); and a LOT of video taping (which I am now so happy I did).
I love this woman and have learned that I will do anything to serve her.
As Lindsey began to slow down, I began to appreciate everything she does on a daily basis for our family and all she was doing for the health of the 7 and then 6 babies in her womb. Lindsey's physical decline taught me, more than ever, how finite and futile our earthly bodies are. No amount of therapy, yoga, rest, food, or massage would make our babies stay in her womb if God did not will it to happen. Once both of us grasped this truth, we were able to live in total freedom ... with our hands wide open.
We have learned to live each day for what it is ... to not look to the future but to the present. We have learned to fully appreciate the two beautiful girls that God had already given us. I have learned to love the greatest gift God gave me over 10 years ago when we first met ... my beautiful wife.
These truths I "knew" before, but now I really KNOW them. It is the difference between knowledge and experience. Only life can make some things go from your head to your heart.
For 21 weeks, we lived our lives as if it was our last chance. We went where we wanted to go and we did what we wanted to do, because if we were going to have 6 babies, we would not be able to live so freely.
Why should this change now? If we live as if God's promises in Christ are REALLY true, what should ever stop us from living wise lives unabashedly and unashamedly for His Kingdom purposes?
For 21 weeks, I went above and beyond to serve my wife and my children. I did things I thought I would be too tired to do before. Guess what? I'm not too tired. Second shift is really first shift. My girls deserve this ALWAYS, not just when my wife is pregnant with high order multiples.
If I learned anything through this experience, it is how to properly love my wife and family as Christ Jesus loves His church. I have learned to treat my wife and family as Christ Jesus treats His church.
God, through Christ, loves the church with an unconditional, sacrificial, and completely selfless love.
No matter the need, the distance, the time, the day I have ... no matter what Lindsey or the girls say or do ... no matter how I feel ... I am called to die to myself and love Lindsey, Hannah, and Hope with an unconditional, sacrificial, and completely selfless love.
This journey has taught me that, apart from Christ, I am a selfish and prideful wretch. My girls, my wife, and my Messiah deserve so much better.
I don't want to look back on my life and wish I would have...
Every day is a gift.
Every second is something we should cherish.
We are only blessed by God to be a blessing to others.
We hear these teachings all of the time, but do we REALLY live them?
messiah has taught me to live them.
We have no regrets. The documentation is there. He was enough before the pregnancy. He was enough during the pregnancy. He is still enough after the pregnancy.
Jesus Christ, the visible image of the invisible God, has been, is, and will always be more. than. enough.
