Mercy Certer, Evelyn Mary, Shiloh Grace, Sage Chandler, Aspen Piper, and Honor Anna joined him (or probably her :)) on September 23, 2014 ... a year ago tomorrow.
I have been awaiting this day - thinking about it a bit - with mixed emotions.
Tomorrow will be just another day. I will, Lord willing, wake up, pray, read, work out, fix and eat breakfast with the girls, go to bible study, home school, go to gymnastics, and, after a special date with Steve, bathe, read to, and tuck the girls into bed. Will I think about our babies who had such a brief life more, tomorrow? Maybe. I am not sure. I already think about them a lot...not necessarily consciously, but they are constantly a part of my coming, going, and resting.
Life has been sweet lately. It has definitely changed by becoming Hannah's Kindergarten and Hope's Preschool teacher (gasp). I am a bit tired by the end of the day and haven't had much to do sorts of things like, well, write on here! Oh but it's sweet and good and I wouldn't change a thing.
Not only did the lives of our babies bring us closer to and give us a deeper understanding of God and His gospel, but it has changed how we make small and big decisions on a practical level. I don't mean to sound cliche, but messiah constantly encourages us to love our children better, and better, and better. Without making them the center of our lives, we are constantly challenged to be better parents to Hannah and Hope - whether that be through snuggles or pops on the bottom. If we have learned one thing (and we have leaned much), it is that our children are not our own. Like, really. These little humans are loaned to us for a short 18 years (and hopefully not more :)) to love well - as well as God enables - through the strength that He provides.
So, I am going to dedicate this post-before-the-anniversary-post to probably the craziest thing I have ever done, in one feeble attempt to love these babies well and take full advantage of this short thing called life.
A few weeks ago, I decided to take the girls to Texas. Last minute. Literally.
We booked our flights at 3:30PM and were on the plane at 7PM.
We had a. ton. of. fun!
Here goes nothing!
Landed in Austin at 1AM and took Uber to Aunt Jasmine's house...stopping for diapers on the way of course.
Headed down to San Antonio the next day in my sister's car (she rocks), but had to stop at a funky Austin cafe for breakfast, obviously.
Our impetus. Baby Colin born to Uncle Kevin and Aunt Krista THAT day!
We were a big surprise :)
Oh hey, and why not stop by the pool and see our favorite Michael Swim in the National Championships? Can someone say providence?
Fun times with cousins in San Anton.
And then why not take a bus up to Dallas to visit Nana and Papa and all of our adopted Aunts and Uncles?
Had to check out my high school's new soccer field that FINALLY got built after 25+ State Championships!
Had to check out my high school's new soccer field that FINALLY got built after 25+ State Championships!
Aunt Chandler and pedicures in Fort Worth.
Aunt Lindsay's bridal shower...providence again?!
Aunt Carolyn, one of our faves :)
Don't even get me started on the good eats.
Aunt Jessica and her sweet baby bump outside of our beloved Dallas church.
Home school started early with trips to the zoo with Aunt Anna...
And the Aquarium with Nana!
Lots of pool and park time at Nana's and Papa's casa.
As the two week mark approached of us being gone, Daddy began to miss us, I think.
We made it home in one piece! Praise God!
Mama was tired after this one. Hear me please. I am not preaching a "live life to the fullest by spending all of your money and doing everything you possibly can" gospel. I live to the beat of the one and only true "Jesus died to set me free" gospel. Because He lives, I die. I die to my own selfish desires of "this might be too hard with two little kids". I die to the fears that can accompany this fallen world. I worship Him through at most times, being patient and still. I I must also worship Him by, at times, discerning and obeying His still small voice say "GO"!
I'll be back tomorrow, with, well...I guess we will just have to see.
Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth and high praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!
If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!
Psalm 66: 16-20