Intimacy

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I desire intimacy with God. I don't want to just know about Him. I don't want to just experience Him. I want to be near to Him. I want Him to be near to me.

Steve and I just finished a study on marriage by Tim Keller. I learned much, but the most important lesson I learned is that Christian marriage is but an image of God's relationship with me.

I love Steve more than words can express. But heart speak is a different language than that of the head. Words are not emotions - they can never fully articulate what the heart wants to say.
But here, I will try.

I know a lot about my husband. He is a 5-year-old trapped in way too large of a body. He is an introvert. He likes Reeces Cups ... especially the Easter eggs. He gets grumpy when he is tired. He enjoys Justin Bieber (a little too much).  He can't stand the sound of utensils hitting dishes. He sleeps with a pregnancy pillow. He loves his kids and me more than life. He likes cars and building things and doing push-ups. Thinking about football sometimes makes him sad. Being on the couch with me makes him happy. Steve fears God, believes in His Son, and yields to His Spirit. He wants to love God more.

I have had many experiences with Steve. He is my best friend. But just knowing about him and doing things with him doesn't make me close to him. What has brought me and Steve nearer to each other is bearing our souls to one another. We grew closer when he had to find a new career and we cried, prayed, and waited together. We drew unto one another when we lost six children and carried each others burdens. We have become closer and closer as we have imperfectly wrestled through decisions such as what house to buy, what church to belong to, and how to raise our children.

In short, I have come to have intimacy with my husband through trusting Him...especially when it has seemed impossible.

This is none the more true than in our relationship with God.

I must know about God to know Him. I must experience God to know Him. Yes. But knowledge and experience will not REALLY bring me closer to Him. What REALLY brings me closer to God is stated clearly in His Word: I draw near to God through FAITH. God draws near to me when I TRUST. Specifically, I experience growing intimacy with God when I come to Him through Jesus (Hebrews 4:14-16) and bank my life on His "precious and very great promises" which find their yes to me in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20).

God illumined my heart a few days ago. Moments like these don't come often. But when they do, they make God real. They make His Word living. It's like life becomes the lab, His Word the curriculum, and God the great professor. In these moments, life proves what the Bible declares to be true. Only God, through His Spirit, is able to give us these transcendent moments.

It was so simple. God illumined my heart to see that what brings me the most joy is what also brings Him the most glory. I saw that He REALLY is ... real. That He REALLY is taking care of me. That He REALLY wants me to be happy. That He REALLY deserves all the glory.

Reality.

I make such a mess of things. I carry too much in my head without letting it penetrate my heart. I make it too complicated. It all sounds great, all true, all good ... I agree and say amen.  I'm so weak and faithless that I don't truly believe until it becomes real ... REALLY real to me.

In the mess, day after day, I begin to forget that He truly gives me everything I have, anything I have, and everything I need. I forget that He REALLY is in control. That He REALLY is for my joy and His glory at the same time.

Then I see ... He protects me. He throws the answer in my face because I am too blind and dumb to notice it on my own. He keeps me, like a shepherd does his sheep. He is true. He is good. He is real.

This, and this, is why I desire to be intimate with God. Intimacy with Steve is wonderful. It is the closest thing to heaven on earth for me in this fallen world. But intimacy with God ... drawing near to the One who gave me Steve, who made and chose me, who became flesh and died so that I may have life ... and having Him draw near to me?

This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I will spend the rest of my life seeking after. Day after day, night after night, in good times and bad, I will, by His grace alone, ask God to be close to me ... to empower me to be close to Him.

We thank you Heavenly Father that you have not left us to grope in the darkness without any light to show us the way. We thank you that your Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. And we thank you that you have given us in the Holy Spirit an indwelling comforter and strengthener who writes your law in our hearts enabling us to love and to obey it. Grant us in increasing measure the fulness of the Spirit that we may live a life that is pleasing in your holy sight. For the glory of your great name.  

-John Stott

Amen.

No words for these pictures. May they speak for themselves.