It was sometime in November around 7AM. I was in our sanctuary (aka our gym). Steve was still home (rare), so I had some extra minutes to be alone. I was in a good place. I had no burning desire for more children, but a healthy "if the Lord wills" one. The songs and podcasts I was listening to led up to this moment, right before I unplugged my phone to call it a "morning". The message was clear. This is some variation of what I heard:
"You are to make your family and your home available for a child. You are to obey my command in James 1:27 through adoption. You now have no need to fear. I have tested you and you have been refined by fire. Let this be clear - if it is My will for you to adopt, I will provide MORE than what you need. This is about me. Now go, I am with you."
I did not hear these words audibly, obviously. But it was the message that I ran inside to share with Steve before he left for work. He smiled at me and nodded his head. He didn't say much, and I don't remember his exact words, but the gist of it was: "yep, we doin' this thing".
Long story short: Steve has always wanted to adopt. I was hesitant, mainly because it costs so much money! We started pursuing adoption before I got pregnant with the 7. But, once that happened, we had to take a break...poor excuse, I know :).
Before messiah was born, part of me pursued adoption out of a sense of loss, because I thought we may not have any more children. Since messiah, I am sure of this: we are adopting not our of a sense of void or loss, but because it is a direct calling that the Lord has put on our lives. I believe that God can give us more biological children, if He so pleases. Moreover, I do not view our loss as something that needs to be "replaced". No. While messiah was here but for a moment, both in my womb and on my chest, their lives were as long as they were supposed to be. They served so much purpose in our lives and, I am learning, in the lives of many others. I joke sometimes that Mercy Carter, Evelyn Mary, Sage Chandler, Shiloh Grace, Issac Joseph, Aspen Piper, and Honor Anna Justice had much more purpose in their 21 weeks of life than most people do in 50, 60 ... even 100 years of life on this earth. I think there may be some truth there, though.
Biological children are no more "ours" than adopted ones. This, we understand full well now. Those who call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ are adopted into God's family. What an opportunity child adoption is to teach us what our Father has done by calling us His children! We understand now, in very small measure, how much pain it caused God to see His Son die. Now, we get to, Lord willing, come to a deeper understanding of our "adoption as sons" (Romans 8:15)? Wow.
So, here we are: fully invested in and committed to adoption. We wrestled and prayed much about how to go about this process, and have much peace about the agency we are going through and who we are making ourselves available for, which is (for this season, at least), domestic infants.
This process may ramp up pretty quickly in the weeks and months to come. We are in no rush. We trust God and we are thankful for the journey that has brought us to today.
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction...
James 1:27
Not everyone is called to adopt. But all of God's children are called to care for widows and orphans. Please pray for us, if the Spirit leads. Please, pray for the child/ren that the Lord planned for us before the creation of this world. Please pray for the 153 million orphans in this world. Please pray for the church to respond to this need.
Until next time....
